What a cheery topic to start of the month. I think this feeling is common to everyone. At one point or another in one's life you find yourself disappointed. You didn't get a job you applied for... someone forgot about your birthday... the movie you were excited for was lame... one thing or another life gets to a point where is sucks.
Today was one of those days for me. Somebody close to me didn't come through. An event I had been looking forward, and had actually used the prospect of as motivation has been canceled. And I find that that time will now be filled with being alone. Completely alone.
Funny enough, what I really find myself most distressed about how much it upset me. I should be used to this kind of thing. I shouldn't ever depend on anybody else because they are sure to disappoint. It really is not a big deal, so I really shouldn't care. But I do, because this is the story of my life. When will I ever learn my lesson... stop counting on others. Independence is the key to avoid being disappointed.
I hope I haven't let on to those around me that this has made me sad. That others have the power over me to make me sad. I can't let that happen. I treasure my independence too much to let others have any reign over my emotions. I can't be that lame.
I'm fine. I promise. I just need to stifle it, and it won't be such a big deal to me anymore.
Don't forget to daydream...
Yours truly
